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“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
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I'm so terribly annoyed with myself. There are many a times i feel motivated and productive but there are more times i'm super sluggish and unproductive. My energy is surely spelling inconsistency.
I have reached a point i have no idea what to do with myself. Really!
It's my last term of college and i really can't afford to screw it up. But i think i have done a fine job of not showing up to classes or presentations. I'm shitting bricks now actually, i know i need to buck up NOW OR NEVER.
I really just wished that my productive days come more often. When it happens, wow..i can really get things done. But then comes the dry spell... of procrastinating and doing nothing. This is just weird =(
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Eek, what is this. Just when i taught i got my groove back on blogging, livejournal announces that they might wanna stop providing for the basic accounts??
Tsk.
Last week whizzed by like every other week, but a particular incident caught my attention. Try this: an actor in the porn i was watching had the same watch as i had! Haha, boy...did i blink hard enough to make sure i wasn't seeing things.
It was from the Swatch Skin collection which my mom bought for my 14th birthday, i remembered so vividly how the endless praises kept coming in for the watch. Too bad it was stolen when my Honda got broken into last year. I cleverly left my car unlocked in a dark alley, only to return to a radio(less) and ransacked car. Baaaah. But at least, they didn't drive away with it. RIght?
Anyhow, i'm hunting for the exact same watch online right now. Wish me luc
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I'm so frazzled by the 2 cup of coffee i had since 3am. And mind you, i'm new to this caffeine scene. A true novice, that's why it has such a strong effect on me.
I just finished rendering my ugly 3D assignment which is a model of Sean John perfume bottle. And for the next assignment, we are suppose to come up with a tv spot commercial for the 3d model we made, in which case...mine would be the perfume bottle. Geez. What kinda concept can there be with a perfume bottle and a casing?
Ouh. I also figure i should post a new Pet Peeve every week. A-HA! And by the end of the year i would have a total of 52 pet peeves. Oh man, come to think of it, if i would have actually suceeded in hitting that quota...i'm surely an easily irritated guy. Heh.
Pet peeve of the week, when someone asks me for an opinion when they clearly had made up their mind. Seriously, WHY BOTHER?
"So where do you wanna have lunch?"
"Let's try XXX", "But....i was thinking of XYZ"
And me mutters under my breath, "@&^#%@#%@^&"....
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I'm putting myself on a probation cum trial run for blogging. Haha, i decided to give this blogging "thing" a try again. I missed how therapeutic it was and how much sentimental value it provided. I for one, have a depleting memory status of a 60 year old man. Or maybe worse, who knows....reading the archives really put a smile on my face sometimes 'cause it brings back good ol' memories within a click.
But yeah, i decided that if i do post regularly enough for a month, i shall jump back onto the bandwagon of owning a blog with my own domain again! wheeeee, designing new layouts and learning how to customize wordpress has always been on my to-do list that has probably found its way into our family's recycle stash.
All that aside, this whole internet shebang is thoroughly distracting and it surely doesn't help a ADD person like myself. Having short attention span and not doing work instead i'm more likely to be caught streaming videos or reading the gossip blog. OR maybe both at the same time. I even tried unplugging the broadband but succumbed few minutes later only to tell myself that i need to do "my research online". Haha
Omg. Am i an interent addict?
While i'm on that topic, im still astounded that i managed to survive for a whole year without internet access when we moved here 3 years ago. Wow. Whereas these days, i'm refreshing the pages of gmail every other hour. Or maybe more than that, i shall not disclose, to save myself from further embarassment.
I should start my work now, yeah this post is also an act of procrastination. ITs almost 6 in the morning and i have an internship client meeting at 9am. Oh joy. And i have submit my 3d poster and animax which both were due on Tuesday. Eeps, i will conjure up some colourful lies and paint a bright smile across my face. I CANNOT BEAR TO FAIL THIS 3D subject, it's a horror.
Will be back. Sooner than later =)
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It's been exactly 3 months since you passed on. We have yet to find your killer, and we have yet to get a closure that we all yearned for. I'm sorry that justice is not serve, U. I'm so so sorry. No one wants to get involved. No one knows what to do. The police simply gave up after a week just cause you were not a somebody in the society.
But in our eyes, you were a definite someone. So selfless in different levels. You were the first friend R introduced me to. And i remembered how we were in a vegetarain restaurant because of your vow. I also remembered how u so fondly called me bitch. Ahem, and i allowed it.
I snigger to myself when i remembered the numerous ways you tried to get fair. The endless bottles of whitening cream didn't work which resorted you into sticking a needle up your ass with Vitamin E. Hehe. That didn't work either. But, we loved you the way you were. Just the way you were.
Your laughter will be sorely missed during our get-togethers. I don't even know we will do another get-together without you...And yes U, i've grown up since you met me 3 years ago. But i wish you could have seen me graduating and moving into adult hood. Really watching me grow up. I was thankful that you saw me as someone who was capable...seeking my opinions on all things creative. Meant a great deal to me.
I'm sorry we never got around to celebrate your new job. And i was so excited that you've finally moved out and had a place to call your own. And i dont believe in coincidences, the week before you were gone. You actually saw me driving to college, but didn't get to say hi. Then when i dreamnt of you, it wasnt just any ordinary dream. I felt vibrations before you appeared...something i never experienced before. Were you saying goodbye?
I was surprised at myself for waking up so ever calmly. And proceeded to text Ray that you came and said your goodbyes.
It's weird writing about you in past tense.
Just do know you are missed by many. Loved by all.
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| 2007-11-08 03:44 |
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House parties could always be so awkward. Even more awkward if you do not serve enough booze. It's so weird that once you start partying with booze, it's never gonna be the same without it. Its like how booze is always the main star that gets the ice breaking session going.
Tonight we played Taboo in the lawn. The deepavali fireworks were going on, drowning out half our game. Then a Miss Malaysia stopped by with her expat boyfriend. She was cool actually. But it was weird having 4 adults-adults while, a bunch of us 20s (the ones in the midst of stepping into the adulthood) sitting around in a circle on the lawn. Talking pure nonsense. And we weren't even drinking.
But somehow, my gut feeling said they enjoyed our young boisterous company.... Haha. Eh
Wait,..hold up. How come i just assumed that the Miss Malaysia is old.
Let me google.
Eh. She is only like what... 4 years old? Dang.
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I have been such an obedient kid, hardly spending any money, coming straight home after classes end. Then again, i'm broke and i have a deadline on Tuesday (yet to start). Hmmmm....it all sounds way too familiar.
The other day, my mom actually woke up 4 in the morning to give me a good lashing. I was so stunned as minutes before i was just slouching on the couch, happily watching my CSI series. Maybe, she was so disturbed that she couldn't have a good night sleep and decided to give me a piece of her mind. Earlier in the evening, i DID accidentally scolded her a bitch and what not during our dinner.
During that 4 in the morning jabbering, she was in rage, in tears...my god. I swear it was a scene plucked off from a Bollywood drama. She was threatening to disown me, bringing up the whole issue about how she supported me, pampered me without cause. Demanded an apology, which i gave. But she didn't accept, 'cause she deemed it wasn't sincere.
I climbed up to my room. Clicked the door shut. As i tucked myself into bed..
"Must be menopause...", i muttered to myself before dozing off.
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| 2007-10-02 03:57 |
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What a nice way to revert back to your livejournal. A lousy day that is.
On Mondays, i have my Online Media tutorial at 1pm, yesh...i do suppose my lecturer could potentially be anorexic since he assumes not one takes lunch at 1pm??! Like hello. Anyhoo, while i was looking for a parking in the usual Pyramid hotel, i grazed my car against the wall big time...Like major dent.
That's just not the case. The crash was loud enough to turn heads and even a busybody Ah Beng shouted at me. Umm.. that's cause i sped off a little as i heard the crash. Out of sheer embarassment of course. Haha. I'm quite amused with myself at times. Of course, after i heard the Ahbeng who OI-ed at me... i got off the car and inspect the damage. Chuck the metal rod at a corner. While many on lookers stared on, busy body Malaysians not like they were any help...
Then i told myself to give myself only 15 minutes to be upset about the silly incident and forgotten all about it when Akmal took me for a spin in his MG convertible. Woohoo. What a rush i tell you. He took the top down and rain just came to a halt. So you can imagine how breezy day it was.
On top of that, some sections of Pyramid 2 is opened. So yay! MORE places to eat. Anymore visit to Mc'd would be disastrous.
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So much has change over the course of me not blogging. Few weeks back, I met up with Desmond for a day out with the rest of the girls. The great thing about Desmond and i, we belong to that certain dynamics that allow us to pick up from where we left. Even after not seeing each other for a YEAR! That's just something that i can't quite fathom yet find it so fascinating.
On another hand, when i bumped into a former close friend of mine at the most strangest hour and place. It was all just awkwardness and no more. I put on my big grin and chirpiness which are both always at my disposal. I asked the usual "how are you?" when i already know the answer. At the same time, i was frozen in my seat 'cause i was caught off guard. But i think he knew, we were not gonna pick up from where we left from.
As Desmond was driving me back to my car, i came to a conclusion that we all just don't realized how long we haven't met. Simply because, each time we meet up...we still have that same old hair do, same ol' crazy quirkiness...we don't really look or act different. So it doesn't hit us that its been a year since we last met. Karen and Abby were aghast over the fact that it took us a year to go out and paint the town red again.
Yes, changes are defintely inevitable. One thing for sure. We might look the same on the surface....but underneath it all... it's no longer a familiar facade. Afterall, being 20 allows so much room to find out who we really are. Heck, a year ago i wouldn't have dream of typing a blog entry in my own comfy bed. Whilst sinking into a bunch of throw pillows.
I'm off to bed. Hopefully... i can drag myself out of bed early in the morning, then i will get my eyes check. About time.
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| 2007-05-31 01:56 |
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Wow, how apt of me to jump back on the bandwagon of blogging exactly at the end of the month. Many apologies for my disappearing act...but truth to be told ...it just came to a point where i just wanted to bottle everything up. Come to think of it now, what a wrong move it was.
Prior to this, i was blasting my Ipod with its various tunes of Hed kandi into my poorly, abused ear drums. But i can't think with all the noise. Whereas some people need their music to study or to engage in their tasks. Why am i of the opposite?
But like most things, there is a pro to it. Whenever i feel slighty perturbed by the happenings in my life...the ipod is definitely a saviour to block out all my thoughts. It's like... your mind goes vapid while the tunes keep playing. And then when you decide you have enough of faux solitude and the adage of "ignorance is not bliss" come a-knocking onto your door. You know it's time for the white earphones to come off.
After a superbly well deserved term break that lasted 3 weeks. I am back to the daily grind, this time with new faces that i'm not very fond of. I'm sure they are nice people at heart but their work ethics comes with a BIG question mark.
I have a subject called Digital Video Techniques, where we are grouped to do 2 videos this term around. The first being a documentary and the second, drama. We are due to screen the video in 2 weeks time and we have got nothing! And why ? Simply because a doofus in our group keeps wanting to change the topic. Today, I was at the end of my wits when he said he wanna do his topic (yet again!)
Needless to say, he was treading on thin ice...and i blew my top. Oh well, ...not that bad! But still, in my composed-self anger...i gave him a piece of my mind. P.S: Can the lecturers stop grouping us by drawing lots???!
That's just evil. Plain evil.
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The other day, i was squirming in discomfort having to bear with the water shortage in my neighbourhood once i come home from akmal's. Not to mention, i got thrown into the pool....with all my clothes on. But it was nice, three of us doing our discussion in the pool, staring into the cloudy threatening sky.
We've been brainstorming all week long to come up with content for a children activity book. Who would have thought it would be such a tormenting process. Hopefully we win the cash prize.... so the usual cash stashed in my dictionary will be loaded again.
While today was a slow-mo day, my bodyclock has gone beserk lately. I go to bed, say 4am? and without fail i jolt up from bed by 8 AM. It's tormenting, and all my attempts to fall asleep is proves unfeasible. So i usually end up, watching Oprah. Sometimes i even manage to catch all runs, 5AM, 9AM & 1PM. Haha, and for your undiluted information....they are all different episodes each day.
Back to college tmrw!
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Almost every day without fail, someone will tell me to lose weight. Or at least the tummy. So unattractive, i know! But gah, i binge when i'm bored! And i'm always bored! In actual fact or numbers in this case, i put on 5kgs these few months. I went from 63 ---> 69 kg! Actually i don't know if the scale in Ray's place is reliable or maybe i'm slighty in denial. It could be a lil more than 70 hur hur!
But anyways, i'm somewhat contemplating to get this exercise machine AB KING PRO. A gadget you will see them selling on tv with those muscle marys and scary female incredible hulks using after midnight. Like everything else, this thing that i'm about to splurge on has a high risk of being ignored and swiped under my bed & be forgotten for good. The curse of exercise machines, never too fond of 'em.
Do let me know if you own one!
The other day, a bunch of us caught "Cinta" in the theatre, a local version of "Love Actually". I wouldn't say a rip off version lah, 'cause it was pretty darn good. I liked the cinematography, the storyline and some of the acting. Since it was a Malay film, i walked away knowing my BM is still a-okay after highschool came to a half 2 years ago.
On another note, Sharifah Amani is beginning to bore me....sure she is a great actress, but she doesn't really seem like she is acting you know?! Being her cute ol'self must be her off screen persona as well. So is that acting?
P.S: The previous post was obviously posted by someone else. Hyuk, a risk you face when u sleepover at someone's else place with your livejournal logged in. =D
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i truly a twit, without a doubt...
ELR
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 Ryan Star really kicked some ass last Thursday night. It was an all around acoustic set and at one point he even had to go a capella because he was stomping his feet and broke one of the floor lamps causing his guitar to go haywired. AND in true Rockstar style he threw his guitar! Phwoar. He even blogged about Malaysia. Looks like he really liked us!
6.45PM : Wayne and i reached ZOUK! YA and Jega were nowhere to be seen. Had to be early to collect the tics from MIX FM. All the Channel V veejays were walking around, pretending to be busy. Dom the girl's fav recorded some clips with the crowd. Maybe i will be on Channel V?? MAYBE?!
7.58PM: They still refused to let us in. Ryan Star suddenly decided to say hi to his fans. I was just an arm length away from him!! He was so hyped up that he carried Maya Karin for the cameras. But i stoned giler. I was undeniably star struck while Wayne was like "what r u doing?? faster take pics lah!" =.= By the time i came to my senses i could only take this shot. Bleh
8.03PM: The never-on-time folks Jega & YA finally arrived. I was so not amused. I was not gonna lose my precious spot just because of them. But MIRACULOUSLY the crowd actually let them squeezed into the front row to meet me. Ah. KL-lites must have been a good mood that day.
8.30PM: We finally got in. It wasn't too crowded, just nice! Channel V veejays tried to warm up the crowd. I think they did quite a good job! Reshmonu came out to do the opening act much to everyone dismay. I've seen him performed myriad times, it's getting a bit boring. Saw him in Alicia Keys and Pussycat dolls concerts.
9.04PM: Finally, Ryan Star emerges! Ahhhh! All the wait was made worthwhile. His first performance was on the piano with Losing Your Memory. Quite a melancholic song that spoke of the weather that night. Then something went beserk on the technical sound part, he threw somewhat a hissy fit. But to his defense, he wanted to give the best to his fans i supposed! I think Zouk soundguy got fired that night! Haha.
9.30PM: After the whole angsty drama, the man who is such a perfectionist went back into full gear. Belting out his latest single, 11:59. Shortie YA was too short to see most of it. One sexy chick with short crop hair even volunteered to carry her. I'm TELLING you, the zouk crowd was exceptionally nice that night!
9.45PM He finally did "back of your car" the song i have been waiting all night for! But the acoustic version doesn't do the original much justice. After a few songs and encore it was time to call it a night. Ryan Star was really into the whole superstar scenario that night, so much so, he exited through the front door with a throng of bodyguards, getting mobbed by the fans must be his fetish. hehe
10.04PM All hell broke loose! Wayne, Yun Ann and Jega were determined to get a picture with their fav veejays. All for the wrong reasons! IT WAS DAMN CHAOTIC! Bah! i was the photographer lah, what else is new? I wasn't really into any of them except Paula Malai Ali who has already left Channel V. Bummer. Ah, so kewt seeing my friends going ga-ga over the celebs.
( PICTURES AFTER THE CUT, BABY! )
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I'm so damn elated right now, so so so so so fucking elated. I tried so many methods to make sure i get to watch Ryan Star live, the multiple contest and constantly harrassing my friends to get me tics. But all that prove futile! BUT BUT BUT....all that changed when i called up MIX FM a few hours ago.
*SNIGGERS* Managed to score myself 4 passes to see him in Zouk tmrw. Wheeeeeeeeeeee.
Thank you, Pietro. You gave in to my pleads even though i wasn't the fifth caller through that you were looking for. =D
When he started recording, i got so nervous that my voice begun to transform into something less familiar. Heh. So much so, i went into a husky mode and said "heloooooo there..." like some phone sex operator and all he could say was , "ouhh sexy..."
Now, now don't hold all that against me. Just a happy chap on a roll.
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Let's see if my day was any productive than usual.
1) Finally bought myself 50 blank CD-rs which came in oh-so-cool black. Sexay indeed. I managed to haggle off 5bucks from the blur-looking ah moi,... ahem it's safe to say i felt rather proud of myself! Eh, cut me some slack...i am still a novice!
2) Entertained a friend who popped by during the evening. Whilst my family was away in Johor Bahru, i used my classes as a cop out but in actual fact i didn't do much in class today. We had an Actionscript exam which broke us all into sweat and tears. Okay. Maybe not tears.
3) Since i was ever so gung-ho about watching Ryan Star, i stormed into the storeroom (4 in the morning) and dugged through the stacks of newspaper to find the blardy ASTRO bill. Just to get the account number so i can enter the contest. Boy, was i delighted when i saw the envelope peeking at me. =) =)
4) Also helped Ray to duplicate copies of his oldies music. Took a large chunk of my time. Hmph.
5) Sent off the "somewhat" surprise package to Ashley in Canada. Using recycled envelope, i stashed in the VCD of Goodbye Boys which she has a part in, a ticket stub of Jalan Impian the musical which she starred in, a photo of she and i slutting at Pussycat Dolls concert and a cut out article on Bernard Chandran. Well, you can say that i'm either very random or sentimental. Haha.
Note: The package cost me RM38 to post! When i asked for a cheaper method, the guy just smirked and said, "By ship!" And snorted some more before saying it will take 2 MONTHS to reach!! Bwahhaa...
As you can see, my idea of productivity is CLEARLY DISTORTED. Please don't laugh.
Heh.
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What do you do when you realized u have a delusional friend?
Do you severe ties with that person?
Or do you try to heal that person? Even after the umpteenth times of trying.
Shouldn't i just throw in the towel?
His "illness" has just been rubbing off on the people around him. He spins a web of lies only to find himself falling deeper into it. The lies he single-handedly spurted out are purely for his own indulgence, 'cause this time around we know better. Living his life in a make believe world of his own. How sad can it get from here? At times, i really do believe he has this chronic disease of compulsive lying. Probably better known as a pathological liar.
So where do we go from here?
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I collected a paycheque last night! A good sum of money to go for a lavish dinner with a friend and have some left to be spend frivolously in the malls. I have yet to get a Flash Actionscript book, so that's at the top of my list. This particular client almost hurriedly paid me off 'cause i think he was taunted by someone. you know who you are! *wink*
Spurring from the post-paycheque bliss, i worked on my design assingment till the sun rise. Set the alarm clock to continue my work but i slept right through it! And woke up an hour before class. To add salt into wound, today's class is a sharing session/presentation day.
One of the new classmate we have, has always been on a low profile mode! We almost never hear him mutter a word. Until today, that is. Then after we heard him spoke, we emphatized why he was a man of few words. Let's just say, his voice didn't go hand in hand with his looks. He has this whole macho jap guy look with goatee but when he speak.....its like releasing air from a helium balloon.
I swear i'm not trying to be mean. Like i said, WE EMPHATIZED. HEH.
Later on, when i was in the loo...one of my close classmate was presenting his concepts. He basically credit me in front of the whole class. Such a sweet sentimental guy, hyuk, you don't find many sentimental straight guys. To cut a long story short, this guy got depressive last term when his friends turned their backs against him. I had to listen to him whine and rant almost every night on MSN. Then again, thank god i wasn't present during his talk, if not i would have squirm uncomfortably in my seat and fell off.
ANYONE KNOWS WHERE TO GET STICKERS FOR IPOD NANOS? Trying to hide the badly scratched areas. Hyuk! There's decalgirl.com , but they don't ship to malaysia! Blek
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Someone lamented that this page has been abandoned one time too long. So I decided to drop an entry to announce that i'm very much alive (and kicking)! It's just that...as of late, i've been doing some much needed cuddling up with the couch. Kicking back without a care in the world just to indulge in my fav local series yet! REALITI, that is!  For you guys who have absolutely no clue what Realiti is, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??! I reckoned it's one of the best local series yet, of course nothing beats "Kopitiam". But Realiti promises to be just as good if not better. I haven't been fortunate enough to catch it on 8TV every Sunday, so i watch it on youtube. YUP! They actually have it. Just check out this site, and you will find the links to all the episodes of Realiti on youtube. This show also managed to cure Ashley's homesickness who is on the other side of the world. HEH.  And then there is Gubra, which happened to be shown on Astro just when i got my copy from Singapore. Heh. Worth a watch as well. Hilarious one liners! I have no idea why i'm so into local production, so don't ask! I'm not at all patriotic but i guess i'm done watching flicks like John Tucker Must Die or Mean Girls, where the same ol' context is being repeated. YAWNS. Same ol' boring Hollywood.
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8daysago's journal
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